Skydiving for the first time: a stream of consciousness
Oh man we're actually going there I'm tired, let me take a nap Oh god we're actually here Oh god there are old-timey planes with propellers on the nose Okay, other people survived their dive, that's good Why am I paying hundreds of dollars to jump out of a plane this is the dumbest thing I've ever done This waiver is listing all the ways in which I'm gonna die You know what, I'm okay with dying here - I had a good last meal, and this is a badass way to go, we had a good run I'm gonna be a statistic "SKYDIVING IS NOT SAFE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOUR INSTRUCTORS ARE GROSSLY NEGLIGENT sign here" Okay waiver has been signed, I need to take a shit Poop's not coming out Okay now watch this video that says the opposite of what the waiver was saying Now lie on the ground and demonstrate how weak your core muscles are Time to put on a harness Oh god I really need to take a shit Poop is coming out How many times do I need to wipe holy